some people...

just don't get it.

Do you know what I mean... like, with any given situation... there are always people who just can't see things the right way. Fail to see reality. Everyone else in the world can tell them "you're wrong" but they'll just never see it...

I suppose I have been guilty of this a few times in my life... but I also think a lot of the time I am just misunderstood. People mistake silence for rudeness... I'm a shy person, I don't warm up to people very quicky because I try to be cautious about who I trust... things like that.

But anyway, some people just do not get it... they believe they are totally doing the right thing and can't seem to understand why their efforts fail... meanwhile they refuse to listen to anyone telling them "this is why..."

I am just happy I chose to stop living a lie - and now I'm facing the harsh reality of what trusting someone who wasn't worthy of my trust has done... I put all my eggs in one basket and watched each one slowly break... but I always just kept 'em all in there... hoping that some day change would come... and finally I just realized that it IS true - the only person you can change is yourself. I think my action showed who really changed... now I am just frustrated that all the mistakes I made as a result of the one big mistake are hindering me from really moving forward... but I'll get through it one way or another!

I really want to get a job - ANY JOB - at this point. There are a few things I am hoping for - but it will take a little while to find out what is going on with them... so in the meantime I really need to get just an office job or something... I don't mind doing that kind of stuff. It will be a nice easy way to have a "real" job for a little bit and meet some people... The problem is I don't have money for child care, etc... I don't even know how I'm going to get Ky her Easter Basket but I'll figure out a way! I want to get her Bambi on DVD.

I don't know, I'm frustrated lately... with a few situations. Maybe this is why I have such headaches... I was watching some talk show this morning about stress and how "stuffing" stress or emotions can cause headaches and all kinds of physical issues... The good thing I guess is that I know what causes all these things so I can try to ignore them. I'm not walking around freaking out that I have some real physical illness... I just know it's stress.

It is actually pretty nice out today! I totally forgot to grab the stroller out of the trunk of my dad's car this morning... I should have. It's a GREAT DAY for a walk!!! I definitely miss the warm weather... when I wasn't working and felt crappy, all I had to do was take Kyla to the pool or for a walk around the island and I felt better... I think it's about 50 today - which is WARM in comparison to the weather we've been having!

Another thing that has me all in a funk is that I need to contact someone I haven't spoken to for a while to try to mend something that I'm not quite sure can ever be fixed... I just don't know how to do it or what to say... so I avoid it. Meanwhile it drives me nuts thinking "what if..."

Things are not always as they appear.

Oh, and check out the pics - HOW CUTE IS KYLA IN THAT DRESS????

:)

D