going out on a limb.
OK... I hesitate to write this just because I know how many people read this, but I'm going to put that aside for a minute and just speak openly about this.
The other night the name of one of my ex-boyfriends came up. Someone I know knows someone who is still in touch with him... Of course I wanted to know if he was married LOL - that's always the question now with ex-boyfriends, isn't it?
I know I am NOT the only one who wonders if men from my past are settled and happy!!!
Anyway, the person I know who knows someone who knows him isn't sure... but doesn't think he's married. This guy was REALLY good to me. I was in college and he was older, and I broke up with him because I was bored. Just wanted to have fun at college and didn't want to deal with a boyfriend who lived far away, had a full time job, didn't "fit in" with my sorority life, etc... so I dumped him. Hey, at least I didn't cheat, right?
A few years later I found out he was actually dating someone who worked with a friend of mine, but I'm pretty sure they are no longer together.
So now the question is, should I have the person I know who knows someone who knows him see if it's ok for me to contact him? I just want to see how he's doing. And of course there is that part of me that's smacking myself because if someone like him walked into my life right now I'd be happy. If he isn't with someone right now it can only be for one reason - he's TOO NICE. At least he always was to me...
I have been thinking about this off and on for a week now and it's starting to get to me... like am I obsessed and stalkerish... or just human in wondering about someone from my past who I know I wronged. It's been 8 years - I'm sure he's over it LOL... but still I just would like to say hi.
Anyway, there's my deep thought of the day... read on for stuff about freaky Peter Pan wannabes and chickens.
:)
D
Posted with love by D*ana @ 11:43 AM
3 Comments:
Thanks for the advice!!
The problem is... I don't know what my intentions really are with this... part of me feels like I'm doing that "I'm alone I need to find someone" thing that EVERYONE does after getting out of a relationship... and since it's easier to seek out someone from the past than it is to meet someone new, maybe that's why I wonder.
Whether the relationship was good or bad, everyone seeks that rebound, or goes for their "backup plan" after it's over... and then masks it as "moving on"...
I'd prefer to stick it out on my own and feel complete to just be ME... and then when the time is right I'll hopefully find someone.
I guess I take pride in knowing I didn't have a backup plan and I don't need to fall into the arms of someone else to feel "OK" with all of it...
I think the thing that hurts the most is not giving my daughter the family I hoped she'd have - so I worry that any contact I might make with an ex, or any guy I meet - even someone new, will be received as an attempt to find a man to make a family with... That certainly is NOT my intent, but I really think men feel this way about single MILFs!!!
On the other hand, I don't think there's anything wrong with looking back over my past relationshps and realizing the night and day difference between all of them... and how I tossed away some really genuine people who really cared for me... and held onto those who treated me like crap - and still do.
So I hesitate to do it... we'll see. I'll talk to the person who knows the person who knows him and see what happens!!
:)
D
Okay, So heres the deal, as being the nice guy that was wrong on more than one occasion, I think that you should contact him. Especially if the timing is right in your life. I only say this because Everything Always happens for a reason, Which I know is waay to cliche but, cliches are often too close for comfort.
And if its meant to be then it will be the best thing that Every happened to you. On a total side note, I dont understand why women constantly discard the nice guy for the Ahole. Anyway... I read both blogs, everyday and I have to say they are a brightside and a diversion from my day of work.
It's human nature to wonder!
I'd totally try to get in touch with him. ESPECIALLY if he's a nice guy. I'd apologize for dumping him for being "too nice", though.
You may get "together" and you may start one of those awesome unconditional friendships.
Sorta reminds me of 13 going on 30.
If you don't try to make contact, you'll never know. Doesn't hurt to try! :)
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