m.i.l.f. on the radio...

I just used that pic because I like it and I look kinda milfy LOL... I'm going to get back to using other people's pics on Monday.

So tonight I was on the radio for a few hours... It was SO MUCH FUN!!! The station is doing a "Way Back Weekend" so I got to play a ton of 80's/early 90's stuff... Poison, Bon Jovi, Gin Blossoms, Ace of Base, Natalie Merchant, Madonna, TONS of fun stuff... lots of instant requests and stuff... tons of phone calls... I just ESCAPED from the madness that is my life - and it was great!!

It's so weird how when I drive from my dad's house to the radio station it's like my life flashes before me LOL... It's a 40 minute drive from here to Boston, and the road goes by friend's houses, my old schools, old bars we hung out at, etc. so it's just really freaky to have all these memories come into my head.

I was on after my friend Jessica which was cool. We've been friends for a long time and know a lot of the same people, but until now we've never worked at the same station at the same time. AND she even had presents for Kyla!!! Baby Einstein books - they are SO CUTE, and they are rubbery so she can take them in the tub, eat them, spit up on them, drool on them, etc. My friends rule... I am just waiting for her - and my other friends - to have babies so Kyla will have friends!! We probably could have sat in the studio talking about our dramatic lives but she left so I could do my thing on the air.

Kyla stayed here and spent some time with her grandparents. They fed her - and said she couldn't get the food in fast enough LOL - and then they played with her until almost 9 o'clock! I am happy she is getting to spend time with them now... I have often felt bad that I live far away because she wouldn't get to be around her family, and they wouldn't get the joy of seeing her grow up and learn new things... We grew up with my cousins and grandparents (on my mom's side anyway) right around the corner so we always had each other. When we first got here she was "strange" but now she goes to them, let's them feed her, etc... and the cutest thing is when I'm feeding her, and my dad or stepmom will walk into the room, and she stares at them and smiles this big "I HAVE TWO TEETH LOOK AT ME" grin...

She is a super friendly little girl. I hope she takes that "outgoing" quality from TK... because I tend to be shy... TK will talk to anyone, I tend to have the attitude that "if someone wants to talk to me they'll say hi to me first"... That's a whole other issue for another post though LOL.

Tomorrow my friend Stephanie is coming by to take me and Kyla out... probably to the mall and for some lunch or dinner... Should be a good time... right now I just need to keep doing fun things with my friends and work at the radio station as much as I can... I'm trying to be positive and move forward and not dwell on the past anymore...

Of course some people want to try to bring me down and make me dwell on mistakes or bad things... but I just can't let it get to me anymore - and I'm succeeding at it for the first time in a while. Dwelling on things and feeling crappy is what led me to keep screwing up, keep letting things go downhill... The more I beat myself up over stuff, the worse I felt, and the less I wanted to do to change... Situations became overwhelming, and then I just exploded in anger, and then things just got worse and worse...

The only way I'm going to make positive changes is to say "screw you" to anyone who wants to give me a hard time... I know I'm doing what is best, the best possible things I can do given the situation, so if people want to judge or come down on me for my past - so be it, but I'm done hearing it... I've taken WAY TOO MUCH CRAP from WAYYY TOO MANY PEOPLE to put up with it anymore... In fact, it's the negativity I listened to for so long - from all angles - that got me so down. I focused on every negative thing people said about me, every bad thing that happened, and it just spiraled.

Negativity begets negativity... and I just really decided to block it out as much as possible. Life is precious, and I am tired of wasting mine being hurt, angry, and upset.

Being on the radio tonight and just doing what I LOVE to do made me happy, and I really don't think there's anything wrong with it. There's been a series of unfortunate events, starting back like over a year ago, that have all contributed to me being where I'm at now... but tonight it was like none of it ever happened!! I guess maybe it's because I am also working in the studio I used to work in before I moved to FL, so it's like dejavu - and maybe it's helping me to feel like the person I was before I left here... That is not to say that great things did not happen in FL, it's just somewhere along the way things went downhill - and kept going that way.... and being back here where I started is "healing" in a way.

So I'm in a good mood. I talked to TK on the ride home and he is good. I know people email me to find out what is going on... it's like you were captive audience to this soap opera that ended on a Friday with a nice big cliffhanger... and didn't come back on Monday afternoon LOL... I appreciate the emails asking how I am, how we are, etc... everything is OK :)

I wanted to get some more m.i.l.f. links up... so I of course had to check out what my favorite online baby clothing stores have... and, well, bad idea... of course, because I see things that are SO SUPER CUTE and I know I can't have them!!!

How cute would me and Kyla look walking around in THESE... from GlamaJama???



Anyway, if you have any links you think I should put up, let me know! Any websites, cool stuff for mommies, babies, daddies, pets, anything like that. I'll put a link up. It's not really for other blogs or personal websites, just cool stuff that other m.i.l.f.s might be into!

Oh, and for those of you who DON'T KNOW WHAT A M.I.L.F. is.... It means...

Mom
I'd
Like to
F.

But I just think it means "hot, cool, still got it goin' on even tho I have a kid" mama...

:)

D