Oh the weather outside is f...

fucking cold.

Pardon my french in these last two posts... Did you ever notice how we blame the French when we swear?

Anyway, it's cold. Like so cold that I got into my car, of course didn't wait for it to heat up, started driving, got a phone call to do a gossip update, started rambling on about Jessica Simpson hooking up with Adam Levine from Maroon 5, and MY FACE STARTED TO FREEZE.

Yes, my lip and nose started to freeze. I couldn't get my words out right because my face was so freaking cold. I HATE COLD.

I HATE COLD I HATE COLD I HATE COLD.

Then of course I start to fall back into my on-again-off-again-by-the-hour depressed mood when I thought about how this cold is going to last for another 3 to 4 months. Great.

I shopped online today. There's something sickeningly gratifying about online shopping. Like, I spent money I shouldn't have spent, but for some reason it's just easier to do it when you're online. You're not paying cash, writing a check, or swiping a card... you're just picking what you want and typing it in and clicking OK. Then it shows up in the mail 3-5 days later. It's fun!

More shopping nonsense... Am I the only one who goes to the mall to shop for others and finds myself wanting EVERYTHING I SEE FOR ME!!!! On the rare occasion I go shopping in NEED of something for myself, with the mission to PURCHASE SOMETHING FOR MYSELF, I don't find anything. When I go at Christmas I want every sweater, pair of pants, tee-shirt, body lotion, set of pajamas at Victoria's Secret, etc. I am one selfish beeeotch. I didn't buy anything for myself though.

I don't know what to get for anyone this year, not even my own daughter. I have no idea what toys she will want. There's so freaking many, and she's not old enough to drill into my head for 3 months "mommy I want this" so I'm left to fend for myself - and everyone else who is buying for her and asking what to get for her... and I feel incompetent. Like I don't know my child well enough to know what she'd like to play with.

We were in Wal-Mart Sunday night and I took her to the toy section and tried to take note of what she ran for... some piece of junk cheap thing I'd never buy for her LOL... so that killed that. I have no idea.

She's going to spend a week with her daddy, so that's when I'm hitting Toys R Us. Even though she's too young to get the whole Santa Crock, I've got to get into the habit of shopping without her now.

Tonight's the company Christmas party. To be honest, since I work nights I didn't even realize it until I went to the ladies room and saw a co-worker getting all dolled up... then it hit me, I'm missing a party because I work nights. Kinda sucks.

Anyway, that's all for this blog for the day. I sat inside, shopped online, played with Kyla, watched Animal Planet, cooked chicken nuggets, tater tots, and carrots, and didn't shower all day. That was my day. That's why it isn't too interesting, but that's the life of a Pseudo-Stay-At-Home-Mommy (who hates the cold) in the middle of winter.

Oh wait, it's not the middle - it's just beginning.

Zoloft anyone?