Without being specific...

LOL.

So since I've been home I've of course been doing a LOT of thinking. I needed to get away from a lot of things, including myself if that makes sense.

So many BAD things have happened over the last year and being alone all day with my thoughts and plenty of time to dwell on things was really just getting to me. I had nothing else to do. It wasn't just my relationship that was bothering me, it was a combination of everything I'd been through, living with the "what if I had handled this... or that... differently..." and post-pardum stuff, and just everything in general. I knew I had to make a change and the things that were happening just came to head and something in me just wanted to run.

But now that I'm here - and I know being here IS the best thing right now for all parties involved - I've had time to think about other situations I've run from. Out of fear, frustration, being overwhelmed... things just pile up and pile up and at some point you just feel like there's no more excuses... there's no more understanding... there's a "oh no I can't do this AGAIN" mentality so I just said "SCREW IT".

So I know there's been talk of unfinished business lately... and I have some of my own. The thing is, I am ready to let it go... but I feel I have to finish it before I let it go.

Now pondering how to proceed - with caution.

D