Showing off my teeth... I love my carrots!

Cuteness in my stroller.

These are three DIFFERENT pictures... all taken one after the other... amazing she was staying so still... why?

This is me staring at something...

This is me staring at that annoying crazy Dairy Queen commercial... the one where the woman is about to drink one of their new frothy drinks and she gets shock therapy... and she screams... and there's lots of zapping noises... and the drink goes everywhere...

We went outside for a walk today... It was a little chilly but the sun was shining!

i'm a milfy geek.

Can you be a MILF and a GEEK at the same time?

I was chatting with a new friend on IM about all this blogging stuff and he was like "we are such uber geeks" - and it is SO TRUE... when I had a job I knew nothing about this whole world of blogging... but it is INSANE. It's addictive... to link around to all these other sites and see what the world is up to!

Some of the blogs I read are too hard to understand though... like people spend so much effort trying to sound intelligent, witty, sarcastic, etc. in their posts I just can't even follow it. My style is BLUNT and TO THE POINT...

As you can see... I have put a "Referring Sites" section to my blog... it's pretty cool, but how ALARMING is it that someone doing a search for "Mother and daughter Nude" found my site!!!

I can explain LOL... well, I clicked on it... and yes, some scary person out there obviously did a search for nude mothers and daughters... but my site came up because of my post about the Gastineau Girls in which I state my DISGUST at the "mother and daughter posing nude!"

I wish I could delete that link from the list but it'll be gone in 24 hours anyway - I hope!

I also have a hit counter so we'll see how many hits this thing gets a day... very odd to see how many people actually read this!!!!

I also realized that my Traffic Facts only tabulates hits to www.danasdirt.com and doesn't count anyone that actually goes directly to danasdirt.blogspot.com, so my hits are way more than I thought!!!

Hooray! I've made a whopping $7.85 off my site!!!

:)

I need to start coming up with more interesting things to say... I think of stuff while I'm going through my day, and then when it comes time to sit and blog, I have nothing but "I ate grilled cheese for lunch today"...

Actually, no lunch yet. Kyla is napping. I need to wake her up soon though, she's been sleeping for almost 2 hours and I want her to start sleeping better at night. Speaking of grilled cheese, I love grilled cheese, but I need to have chips or better yet - FRIES - with my grilled cheese... It's like they go together. The crunchy slightly buttery melted cheesy thing needs the soft salty crunchy french fry taste to go with it.

Is your mouth watering?

OK I gotta go - another headache today too... The tension kind, with the neck and shoulder aches... Sucks.

D

glo worms and cheerios!

So last weekend my dad hooked all of Kyla's toys up with new batteries... including the Glo Worm... I feel bad when the batteries on her toys die and I don't replace them...

Well I figured out one of the reasons why she hasn't been sleeping through the night lately is because of the frigging GloWorm!!! Every time she wakes up or moves a little, it lights up and goes off... and seriously, it was in bed with me last night and I moved and it went off and I jumped out of bed it scared the sh*t out of me... and it is BRIGHT and LOUD. Yeah, real nice thing for a kid to sleep with at night!!

So I yanked the entire inside battery pack out of it... and she snuggled with it... I thought she was finally going to calm down and sleep.

But no. She was FLIPPING OUT crying all night last night... I was starting to get worried that something was wrong. I got up, turned the light on, and went fishing in the diaper bag for the baby Orajel... She's on the floor with me and snatches the little plastic bowl of Cheerios out of the bag and starts trying to open it!

I open it, she DIVES for the Cheerios, and suddenly she's calm. She starts STUFFING Cheerios in her mouth like crazy. My poor baby was just really hungry!!! I brought her downstairs and grabbed the box of Cheerios... put some water in her sippy cup... and we sat on the floor in the bedroom with a dim light on - at 3:30 in the morning - and she ate!!!

I should have known... I just didn't. She wasn't too into her food at dinner time and I'd actually thought about giving her something more before bed, but she didn't seem interested... so for about 4 hours last night I STARVED MY CHILD. All she wanted was something to eat!!!!

I almost got up and grabbed the camera too because she was SO CUTE sitting on the floor eating and drinking... Once she was done she crawled over to me and put her head in my lap, so we went back to bed. I let her sleep with me, sometimes mommies need to snuggle too LOL!

Tonight something funny happened too... she is such a riot. We were playing on the floor in the livingroom and I was laying down... she was climbing all over me trying to get the TV clicker and I was hiding it from her. At one point my shirt was up a little so my belly button was showing... and she STOPPED and was STARING AT IT... then she starts putting her FINGER IN IT!!!! I was like "stop it!" Having a finger in the belly button is not comfortable... it feels WEIRD. So I moved my shirt down and she pulled it back up again and was FASCINATED BY MY BELLY BUTTON!!!! She started doing her little giggle and it was like we were playing peek-a-boo with my belly button!!!

I keep missing PoweR Girls. I have seen the 1st episode about 10 times but EVERY TIME I catch it I always JUST MISS the 2nd episode where they went to P.Diddy's party. Everyone HATES ON this show but I am all about it. I don't like many TV shows right now but I love PoweR Girls!

Nothing else to blog about right now.

D

found the cure...

for my headaches... just relaxing.

Seriously, I had a headache all day... and then I talked about some things that have been bothering me and it just went away! Then my best friend came over after dinner and we hung out for a while... played with Kyla... and then once she went to bed we just talked about random stuff for a while - and now I feel much better!

I also got some good news...

I am going to bed. Kyla is sound asleep but who knows how long that will last tonight! I need to read some more of the book I am into... and get some zzzzzz's!

Thanks for all the sweet emails!!! It's funny the last few days I've gotten a bunch of "I finally found you!" emails... I guess after 6 months people finally realized I wasn't coming back or something... it's really cool to know people miss me that much!!

:)

D

Trying to make a phone call... leave me alone!

some people...

just don't get it.

Do you know what I mean... like, with any given situation... there are always people who just can't see things the right way. Fail to see reality. Everyone else in the world can tell them "you're wrong" but they'll just never see it...

I suppose I have been guilty of this a few times in my life... but I also think a lot of the time I am just misunderstood. People mistake silence for rudeness... I'm a shy person, I don't warm up to people very quicky because I try to be cautious about who I trust... things like that.

But anyway, some people just do not get it... they believe they are totally doing the right thing and can't seem to understand why their efforts fail... meanwhile they refuse to listen to anyone telling them "this is why..."

I am just happy I chose to stop living a lie - and now I'm facing the harsh reality of what trusting someone who wasn't worthy of my trust has done... I put all my eggs in one basket and watched each one slowly break... but I always just kept 'em all in there... hoping that some day change would come... and finally I just realized that it IS true - the only person you can change is yourself. I think my action showed who really changed... now I am just frustrated that all the mistakes I made as a result of the one big mistake are hindering me from really moving forward... but I'll get through it one way or another!

I really want to get a job - ANY JOB - at this point. There are a few things I am hoping for - but it will take a little while to find out what is going on with them... so in the meantime I really need to get just an office job or something... I don't mind doing that kind of stuff. It will be a nice easy way to have a "real" job for a little bit and meet some people... The problem is I don't have money for child care, etc... I don't even know how I'm going to get Ky her Easter Basket but I'll figure out a way! I want to get her Bambi on DVD.

I don't know, I'm frustrated lately... with a few situations. Maybe this is why I have such headaches... I was watching some talk show this morning about stress and how "stuffing" stress or emotions can cause headaches and all kinds of physical issues... The good thing I guess is that I know what causes all these things so I can try to ignore them. I'm not walking around freaking out that I have some real physical illness... I just know it's stress.

It is actually pretty nice out today! I totally forgot to grab the stroller out of the trunk of my dad's car this morning... I should have. It's a GREAT DAY for a walk!!! I definitely miss the warm weather... when I wasn't working and felt crappy, all I had to do was take Kyla to the pool or for a walk around the island and I felt better... I think it's about 50 today - which is WARM in comparison to the weather we've been having!

Another thing that has me all in a funk is that I need to contact someone I haven't spoken to for a while to try to mend something that I'm not quite sure can ever be fixed... I just don't know how to do it or what to say... so I avoid it. Meanwhile it drives me nuts thinking "what if..."

Things are not always as they appear.

Oh, and check out the pics - HOW CUTE IS KYLA IN THAT DRESS????

:)

D

Kyla in her Easter dress...

Let me out of this chair!

Remember Holly Hobby... the dolly with no face LOL...

:)

I'm not holding this bunny...

headaches!

Ugh, my nasty headaches are back! I NEVER used to get headaches... and I started getting them in Tampa... when I wasn't getting any sleep and had a lot of stress... then they went away for a little while, then came back when we were moving... had them a lot in Columbia... then once I came here they went away for a while and NOW THEY ARE BACK!! It's so aggravating. And they last for DAYS. I think a big part of it right now is that I can not sleep... Kyla hasn't been sleeping through the night - I think because of her teeth - so then I don't get enough sleep either. Hopefully once these teeth come in it'll be better!

That's all for now... I didn't feel like eating last night so I'm STARVING!!

I'll do the dirt later too... not much going on anyway!

:)

D

tiramisu and larry chairs...

Have you any idea what I am talking about?

Well, tiramisu - YUM, my favorite dessert... and if I eat too many, I might end up needing a Larry Chair some day.

We went to the Olive Garden for dinner tonight... and the OG has 4 chairs in each restaurant with no arm rests. These chairs are made for "guests of size" who can not fit comfortably in a booth or the regular chairs with arms. For some reason - tonight while waiting for our table I just started thinking about this one time at band camp...

No, sorry... I mean, this one time when I was a hostess at the OG, these really really large women came in... they DEFINITELY needed Larry Chairs... but ALL the LC's in the place were already being used. And the other hostesses and the manager and I all tried to figure out if these large guests would fit in a regular chair... and we didn't know what to do because they were waiting while all these other parties of 2 were seated... It was horrible.

I honestly don't remember how we handled it... I think finally the LC's became available and we sat them... just weird how I thought of that.

So now for the real juicy stuff... I dated a guy I worked with at the OG when I was 20... He was incredibly hot, we had a GREAT time together for all of about 5 months... then he dumped me... and just didn't want to talk to me anymore - EVER. I was heartbroken... He's one of those ex's that you just eventually tuck away in the back of your mind because you know you'll never see or hear from them again...

So we walk into the OG tonight... and plastered on the front of the building is HIS NAME, GENERAL MANAGER.

I about crapped my pants. I think I had heard he stayed in this area, but I had NO IDEA he was back running the same OG we'd worked at together...

I saw him. For a brief second. He did not see me. He was just walking out the door about 2 minutes after we walked in, and he was on the other side of the crowded lobby... My heart JUMPED when I saw him. It was SO WEIRD...

The one thing I was DYING TO KNOW - is he married???? Just one of those things I wonder about... I really thought he was awesome - he treated me really well, we had a blast, he was sweet, considerate, fun... until he just for whatever reason dumped me. He had said "I'm 7 years your senior... what do we have in common?" So I think maybe he was looking for a wife and knew I just wasn't going to be it at that time in my life... but I was crushed nonetheless...

So I ended up asking our waitress if he was married LMAO... but I didn't want to even let on that I knew his name, so I described him, and she was like - oh, that's the GM, uh... I don't know if he's married or not...

DAMN!!!!!

So now I am so curious. I googled him - but found nothing... and it doesn't help that there is some famous PhD author with the same name!!! I hate that!!

So that was my random night... we also went to Old Navy and I picked out a cute outfit for Kyla to wear for Easter. We're going to a brunch at my stepmom's sister's house Easter morning... I also picked up some invitations to send out for her birthday party.. everyone knows about it already, but I wanted to send the "1st birthday party!" invitations out for fun.

Of course pics of Kyla in her little Easter outfit coming soon... It's nothing too frilly, but it has matching shoes, hat, sweater... SUPER CUTE!

I never did write much about my night out St. Patrick's Day either... I saw some friends I hadn't seen for a while... they are actually girls my best friend works with... but I became friends with them through her when I lived here before... So we were catching up...

I was talking to one of the girls about men (in general) and how my whole "what I look for in a man" is completely different now... I guess I always went for the party guys... the ones who liked to have a good time... and somehow I ended up just realizing how many REALLY NICE GUYS I dumped - or never even took a chance on - in my past...

One person in particular - a guy I went to high school with... I ended up getting back in touch with him years later... we saw each other at a bar the night before Thanksgiving about 4 years ago... we exchanged phone numbers and he took me out one night and I was a complete bitch. He was cute, sweet, good job, just an all around NICE GUY - and I just didn't have any attraction to him. I know I said it - "he's just too nice".... WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING????????? I don't think he is married yet, but I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend. Not sure, haven't talked to him since long before I left Tampa.

So I don't know why I've been thinking about all these men from my past lately... Then of course the guy I left when I moved to Tampa - drive by his parent's house ALL THE TIME now... it's on the road to the mall, Target, restaurants, etc... so I can't avoid it unless I go out of my way so as not to pass it... Not sure what he's up to these days... I've heard he is not the nice guy I thought he was, so I guess it's better off leaving that one alone. We were friends for 10 years, then I left to go to Tampa and he just flipped out... I wasn't very nice to him - but then again, he did call me and leave me some pretty horrible voicemails... Still, I wish I had been kinder. How things would have been different had he come to live with me in FL like he wanted to...

Well, since I'm on the subject of ex-boyfriends... I have been trying to get in touch with my ex who is in Germany... at least last I knew that's where he is. He's in the Air Force. We did keep in touch, he used to call once in a while, but I haven't talked to him since right after Kyla was born... so it's been almost a year!!! I do have his niece's screen name, but I don't like to be that random and bother her. He's a good guy. Broke my heart (another one LOL) - but later I understood. I did get him to stop wearing Levi's tapered leg light wash jeans... eventually. He was totally adorable and fun - but wore the worst jeans. Good shirts, cute spikey hair, cool shoes, BAD JEANS! Oh it used to drive me insane. Just one of those little stupid things that really doesn't matter but would get to me!!! I am definitely proud of everything he has done and the changes he made for himself... We broke up because he joined the Air Force... he wanted to do something great with his life - and he did!!

I have another ex who lives around here, but he's got a girlfriend so I won't even try to contact him... he and I were friends long before we got together... I had to do the "all or nothing" deal with him and it tore me apart for a few days... but he ended up wanting to be with me "officially" which was cool... we went out for a while... then he went on a trip for 4 days to Cali and didn't call me the whole time. I was so mad by day 3 I hung out with my friend's boyfriend's friend... and ended up just dumping him when he got back. I guess he had thought a lot about me on the trip and wanted to tell me he wished I'd gone with him... but I never gave him a chance. I dumped him... he called me and wanted me back after that but I was never one to give second chances. Once I was done - I was done.

Don't ask me why THAT changed... I look back on all these things and realize I have more often than not given my heart - and second chances - to the WRONG people!

It will be a loooooong time before I date again... but at least I know now what I want - and what I don't want. It really is true that what you want at 20 is not what you want at 30, etc...

Anyway, those are the thoughts... I need to stop... I'm just in one of those reflecting moods I guess....

I am so loving the new U2 song... the station I work at is doing a U2 thing tonight and I was listening to it on the ride home from the OG... "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own" - and by the way, does that one take the cake for the longest U2 song title EVER? They always have long titles... but that one is the longest I think... 8 words... "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" is only 7... Well, I guess maybe if you count the "I" it is 8 words... I don't know, I just know when I was talking into the song last night it felt like a realllllllly long title LOL.

I also LOVE the new Dave song American Baby... I would love to see DMB again but I think my concert-going days are all but over... Next show I see will probably be the Wiggles or Barney on Ice...

Speaking of my child - she was nuts last night! I was starting to think she was posessed or something... I came home at 11 and she was up with my dad on the couch... I brought her up with me and she wanted to just sit up in bed and HANG OUT. She was just talking her baby talk like CRAZY and laughing. I did not know what was going on. It was starting to freak me out because she was just so full of it! Then she was looking out the window and POINTING AT THE MOON - which I think was FULL last night... so I'm like WHAT IS UP!!! Needless to say I did not get much sleep...

She was an angel while we were shopping. Fussed a little in Old Navy but other than that she was great... She was alllll about the breadsticks at Olive Garden. I am pretty picky about what she eats, but as long as she eats her fruits and veggies every day, I let her have some yummy things in moderation. She had yogurt for breakfast, peaches and cheese (yummy combination!) for lunch and turkey veggie mush for dinner... so then I gave her some breadstick and a few bites of my fettuccine.

I think that's all for now... I need to get some zzzzzzzzzzzzz's!