m.i.l.f. on the radio...

I just used that pic because I like it and I look kinda milfy LOL... I'm going to get back to using other people's pics on Monday.

So tonight I was on the radio for a few hours... It was SO MUCH FUN!!! The station is doing a "Way Back Weekend" so I got to play a ton of 80's/early 90's stuff... Poison, Bon Jovi, Gin Blossoms, Ace of Base, Natalie Merchant, Madonna, TONS of fun stuff... lots of instant requests and stuff... tons of phone calls... I just ESCAPED from the madness that is my life - and it was great!!

It's so weird how when I drive from my dad's house to the radio station it's like my life flashes before me LOL... It's a 40 minute drive from here to Boston, and the road goes by friend's houses, my old schools, old bars we hung out at, etc. so it's just really freaky to have all these memories come into my head.

I was on after my friend Jessica which was cool. We've been friends for a long time and know a lot of the same people, but until now we've never worked at the same station at the same time. AND she even had presents for Kyla!!! Baby Einstein books - they are SO CUTE, and they are rubbery so she can take them in the tub, eat them, spit up on them, drool on them, etc. My friends rule... I am just waiting for her - and my other friends - to have babies so Kyla will have friends!! We probably could have sat in the studio talking about our dramatic lives but she left so I could do my thing on the air.

Kyla stayed here and spent some time with her grandparents. They fed her - and said she couldn't get the food in fast enough LOL - and then they played with her until almost 9 o'clock! I am happy she is getting to spend time with them now... I have often felt bad that I live far away because she wouldn't get to be around her family, and they wouldn't get the joy of seeing her grow up and learn new things... We grew up with my cousins and grandparents (on my mom's side anyway) right around the corner so we always had each other. When we first got here she was "strange" but now she goes to them, let's them feed her, etc... and the cutest thing is when I'm feeding her, and my dad or stepmom will walk into the room, and she stares at them and smiles this big "I HAVE TWO TEETH LOOK AT ME" grin...

She is a super friendly little girl. I hope she takes that "outgoing" quality from TK... because I tend to be shy... TK will talk to anyone, I tend to have the attitude that "if someone wants to talk to me they'll say hi to me first"... That's a whole other issue for another post though LOL.

Tomorrow my friend Stephanie is coming by to take me and Kyla out... probably to the mall and for some lunch or dinner... Should be a good time... right now I just need to keep doing fun things with my friends and work at the radio station as much as I can... I'm trying to be positive and move forward and not dwell on the past anymore...

Of course some people want to try to bring me down and make me dwell on mistakes or bad things... but I just can't let it get to me anymore - and I'm succeeding at it for the first time in a while. Dwelling on things and feeling crappy is what led me to keep screwing up, keep letting things go downhill... The more I beat myself up over stuff, the worse I felt, and the less I wanted to do to change... Situations became overwhelming, and then I just exploded in anger, and then things just got worse and worse...

The only way I'm going to make positive changes is to say "screw you" to anyone who wants to give me a hard time... I know I'm doing what is best, the best possible things I can do given the situation, so if people want to judge or come down on me for my past - so be it, but I'm done hearing it... I've taken WAY TOO MUCH CRAP from WAYYY TOO MANY PEOPLE to put up with it anymore... In fact, it's the negativity I listened to for so long - from all angles - that got me so down. I focused on every negative thing people said about me, every bad thing that happened, and it just spiraled.

Negativity begets negativity... and I just really decided to block it out as much as possible. Life is precious, and I am tired of wasting mine being hurt, angry, and upset.

Being on the radio tonight and just doing what I LOVE to do made me happy, and I really don't think there's anything wrong with it. There's been a series of unfortunate events, starting back like over a year ago, that have all contributed to me being where I'm at now... but tonight it was like none of it ever happened!! I guess maybe it's because I am also working in the studio I used to work in before I moved to FL, so it's like dejavu - and maybe it's helping me to feel like the person I was before I left here... That is not to say that great things did not happen in FL, it's just somewhere along the way things went downhill - and kept going that way.... and being back here where I started is "healing" in a way.

So I'm in a good mood. I talked to TK on the ride home and he is good. I know people email me to find out what is going on... it's like you were captive audience to this soap opera that ended on a Friday with a nice big cliffhanger... and didn't come back on Monday afternoon LOL... I appreciate the emails asking how I am, how we are, etc... everything is OK :)

I wanted to get some more m.i.l.f. links up... so I of course had to check out what my favorite online baby clothing stores have... and, well, bad idea... of course, because I see things that are SO SUPER CUTE and I know I can't have them!!!

How cute would me and Kyla look walking around in THESE... from GlamaJama???



Anyway, if you have any links you think I should put up, let me know! Any websites, cool stuff for mommies, babies, daddies, pets, anything like that. I'll put a link up. It's not really for other blogs or personal websites, just cool stuff that other m.i.l.f.s might be into!

Oh, and for those of you who DON'T KNOW WHAT A M.I.L.F. is.... It means...

Mom
I'd
Like to
F.

But I just think it means "hot, cool, still got it goin' on even tho I have a kid" mama...

:)

D

"mama" m.i.l.f.

Yes, MAMA M.I.L.F. would be ME. Kyla says MAMA now... like crazy!!! She did it last night once... and now today, Mamamamama... mama... over and over again. She's TOTALLY getting it!!!

She's "cruising" all over the place too. She'll crawl up the coffee table, and just move right down to the other end of it... she'll climb the rocker, then reach for the table next to it, and go back and forth... she's ON THE GO. It's SO CUTE to watch her waddle LOL.

She and I were playing with her 2 Tigger stuffed animals yesterday... and she was CRACKING UP - and we just played with them again. It's BIZARRE, but she loves to lean over the side of the bed (with me holding her of course) and look at things. I pick them up, she drops them, and then I make the Tigger dolls jump on each other and she finds this HYSTERICAL. It's not just like a smile and a giggle... it's FULL BLOWN LAUGHTER. When we were doing it yesterday, I called TK while he was at lunch, told him to listen, put the phone right next to her, and then started making her laugh again. He had never heard her laugh like that!!! Sooooooo cute.

SHE WAVES TOO!!! She waved at my dad the other night while she was in the high chair and he was standing in the kitchen... and then last night when I was feeding her, she just started waving, so I waved back... then she clapped and I clapped, then I waved at her again and she did it back. It's SO FUNNY!

So that's the Kyla update!! I wish I had some pictures!!

Not much is up. I'm on the radio tonight at 6 which will be fun!!

:)

D

m.i.l.f. of a puppy...

This is Trinity. HOW CUTE IS TRINITY!?!?!? Her m.i.l.f.y. mommy Beth sent me pictures of her little puppy... only, Trinity is not even really a puppy!! *Oh, and yes, m.i.l.f.y. IS, in fact, a word!!

Beth and her boyfriend rescued her from a pet store when she was little... and she never grew to her adult weight. She is two years old, and since she didn't grow, they thought she might be sick... but there's nothing wrong with her, she's just LITTLE!! She is just soooo cute!!

Thanks for sharing Beth!!!

Send your pic of the day - anything really - to danasdirt@danasdirt.com. I just want pictures up on my blog. I'll have pics of Kyla to share soon, but I don't have the digital camera set up here...

*******

So here's what's new. Speaking in vague terms...

It's funny how situations tend to turn around in a moment - and when you least expect it. It's like things suddenly just shift gears and things that seemed right... seem wrong... and things that seemed wrong... seem OK.

I'm just going to have to go with the cliche that "everything happens for a reason" and hope that eventually I will see what the "reason" is behind all of this. Lately I feel like there is no rhyme or reason to anything, and life is just chaotic... Just when you feel a little in control of things, they slip out of grasp and its back to making tough decisions all over again...

Anyway, those are the deep thoughts of the m.i.l.f. tonight.

*****

KYLA is getting her TOP TOOTH. Within a few days it will be in!!!! It's white, can't feel it yet, but it's there... poor little sweet pea has been drooling like CRAZY lately too. I will change the song to "all I want for my BIRTHDAY is my 2 front teeth"...

:)

D

m.i.l.f.'s man ASHTON KUTCHER on oprah.

Did you see Oprah today??? OMG I am loving Oprah every day this week so far!! Ashton Kutcher was on. Can I just say after watching this show today I REALLY LIKE HIM... and the way he talks about Demi... so sweet.

Did you know that her kids call him "MOD" - My Other Dad!!! How cute is that??? And when he was talking about her... he started to get CHOKED UP. This couple is IIIIIIINNNN LOVE!!!

He also talked about the night they met, how he overheard her saying goodnight to her kids and he told her he thought it was the sweetest thing he'd ever heard. AND THEN, when he met Bruce... he was flying on Bruce & Demi's private plane by himself, and Bruce was going to be at the airport waiting to get ON the plane when Ashton got off... so Demi called Ashton and was like "by the way, Bruce says it was nice of me to fly you over to meet the girls..." So, basically, Bruce Willis thought that Demi flew Ashton to meet their daughters because they were fans LMAO... and then Demi had to tell Bruce... uh, no, he's more my friend.....

It was sweet. I really like him now. He's cute :)

******

So not much else is up. Kind of a blah day.

Thanks for the picture submissions, keep sending them!!!

:)

D

the m.i.l.f. messes up again!

Do you ever feel like no matter what you try to do - it backfires?

It just seems like I can not get a break... and really, I'm not even looking for a "break" - I just want to get my life back in order and every effort I make to do the RIGHT thing just causes more grief. I try to get to a point where I can focus on moving forward, start taking steps in the right direction, and then it all blows up in my face.

Anyway, I'm sure eventually I'll figure my way...

Have a great day :)

welcome to the m.i.l.f. diaries...

That's me - am I MILFY?

Well, actually it's really only ONE diary... but diaries sounds better, doesn't it?

I was talking to a friend about how I really need to get a job... and he suggested I start up the "MILF RADIO NETWORK" or something LOL... and I was like - ah, don't know about that because it would alienate all of the moms that are not MILFs, and all the hot ladies without babies... but I was like THAT WOULD BE THE PERFECT TITLE FOR MY BLOG!

So... I think the new title will bring out more of the "old" D*ana... I'm also going to post links to mommy things, baby things, or just plain girly things. I also want to do cute pictures of the day, I already have one for tomorrow - but please submit them. Something cute - your kid, you, your pet, even a cute pair of shoes you found, a cute outfit you want for your kid, your new purse... whatever. Something cute and fun and happy.... or something that will just make everyone laugh.

Any ideas for the m.i.l.f. diaries - danasdirt@danasdirt.com...

Now I'm going to go slip into my silky m.i.l.f. nightie and go to bed... alone LOL.

;)

D

noodle dance...

So I have the Noodle Dance song in my head... From Playhouse Disney... so there's the subject.

Today I had eggs for breakfast. I make Kyla scrambled... and then I make myself some fried eggs. I've been getting really good at making fried eggs lately.

I am really methodical when I eat friend eggs. I have two, yolks runny, 2 pieces of wonder bread, lightly buttered. I flip the eggs and then put the toast in, so they're ready at the same time. I eat the white part of one egg first. Then I use a quarter of a slice of toast to dip in the runny yolk. Then I use half a piece of toast to make a little mini sandwich out of the middle of the egg part. Then I use the other quarter of toast that is left to wipe up the rest of the runny yolk.

Then I repeat with egg number two. I always hope I have enough yolk/toast to even it all out.

Deeeeelicious.

Kyla on the other hand.... well.... she was eating her scrambled eggs like crazy for a few minutes... then I noticed out of the corner of my eye she was DROPPING THE PIECES OF EGG ON THE FLOOR when I turned away from her. NO LIE - she had been dropping half the egg off the side of the tray!!! There was a little pile next to her. Oh, it was SO FUNNY to see her just do it. Once she knew I was on to her, I put another piece in front of her, and she picked it up, held it over the side of the tray, paused, and let go. I put another piece in front of her. She dropped it again. SO FUNNY. I guess she wasn't into eggs like I was this morning!!!

So what is up with this NOODLE DANCE anyway? I have been spending way too much time watching the Disney Channel - again... but I can't stand anything on Nickelodeon or PBS... so Disney it is. At least they have cute little songs... My name is Shanna... it rhymes with banana... love that one too. It's funny because ALL MOMS know that one these days. Oh, and The Wiggles. My favorite is Anthony's Workshop... he's the hot one.

I'm psyched my site is getting TONS of hits lately. I think that whole Paris Hilton thing helped me LOL... I had it Sunday afternoon and I think a lot of people just passed it around to their friends because I had all the links up... now it's EVERYWHERE, but having it Sunday helped me get hits. THANKS HACKER O'PARIS'S SIDEKICK!!

OH, I watched the TRL Awards today. They were on Monday but I caught them today... obviously nothing too exciting happened because nobody even pays attention to TRL unless you are 13, but I had nothing else to do. They named Lindsay Lohan the Queen of TRL or some crap... but the cool thing was Eminem's new video. Have you seen it? The one for Mockingbird. It really tells the WHOLE STORY about him, Kim, etc... Kim wasn't even really a crackhead until he went to LA to meet Dr. Dre... He actually has all kind of home videos of Hayley and his niece Elena... It's pretty crazy. If you happen to catch MTV while they're playing videos, check it out.

What else..... um..... I think my friend is coming to visit me from Tampa - so that would be cool. Not sure when though... probably not until it gets a little nicer. I'm actually hoping I have a JOB by then but we'll see. I am working on it!!

I don't really have much more to write. I'm starting to get involved in an IM conversation right now that I probably shouldn't be having... but oh well.

Kyla is great. Getting cuter every day :) She has little curls in the back of her hair now!!! Just a little, but her hair is growing... and it looks like its going to be curly!!!

:)

D

visits and roses...

That's the picture of the day... for no reason ;) I just like pink, and I like roses... so there's some pink roses.

Any suggestions for pictures of the day? ANYTHING random - but it has to be something funny or something that will make you smile... I don't know - I just feel like this blog needs pictures. Pictures at random - email me danasdirt@danasdirt.com.

Today we went to the post office to mail some things I sold on eBay before I left Columbia... these people have waited almost a montht to get their stuff so I AM PRAYING that since I was really nice and communicated with them, explained my situation, etc. that they will not leave me bad feedback. If they do, oh well... but I hope they are nice.

Then we went to see my grandmother, Kyla's GG. GG - Great Grandma. It is so weird because I remember my GG... and now Kyla is calling my grandma GG... it's just different. We had a nice visit... my grandmother had oreos which I haven't had in a LONG time (ok, well, I haven't had them in a month - but that's a long time for me!!) and then she made grilled cheese for dinner. She thinks Kyla is a "hot ticket" :)

We stayed for a while... and then Kyla just got super cranky. We played right through her nap, so when we got home around 7 she just wanted her crib. Putting PJ's on an overtired baby is NOT FUN.

It was a good day...

I've just been doing the dirt tonight and chatting with friends online. I'm afraid to talk on the phone because Ky will hear my voice and wake up!!! She's so cute.

********



Can I just mention how much I don't enjoy The View... do you ever watch this show? GREAT CONCEPT. I remember when I first saw it a LONG time ago I thought - wow, what a cool idea, Barbara Walters and a bunch of chicks all with different "lifestyles" and "perspectives" but honestly, none of them every really say ANYTHING...

The whole "HOT TOPICS" thing is so lame. I mean, they're about a week behind everything else, and Merideth and Star Jones hog the camera. Then Joy Behardyharhar gets all flustered and cackles... then poor Elizabeth Hasselpregnant tries to get a little squeak in and one of them always cuts her off... and then when Barbara is on they all bow down and kiss her wrinkly ass.

I just always feel let down after watching it... I never agree with what they're saying... and half the time they make controversy out of nothing... or they do the "typical" controversial things and take the "typical" stance on things... Like for example - Star Jones says Omarosa was chosen to represent black women on the show on purpose because they want to depict all black women as know-it-all troublemakers... or something. Then Joy argued with her. And of course, nobody beats Star-I-have-a-receding-hairline-Jones in an argument.

Ugh, OK... so I don't like The View - do you?

:)

D

Oprah & Peek-A-Blocks.

That was my day. Let's start with the Peek-a-Blocks. I just put a picture up here because I feel like this blog needs more color. The other one has all the fun celebrity trash... this one will just have pictures at random, and since I spent the majority of my day with Peek-a-Blocks I thought they were fitting.

I can stack Peek-a-Blocks 15 high... and then Kyla knocks them over. She is vicious about it!! I thought babies were supposed to laugh with glee as they knock over a stack of blocks... but Kyla, she just knocks and goes. Like, no giggling, no "mommy I did it!" look... just knocks it over and moves on to the next toy. It's a riot.

She did play the Cheerio game with me again this morning. One Cheerio left, she goes for it, I grab it, she cracks up. It's so great. The cutest thing ever. That was the best part of my day!!

I think she's getting top teeth. She's been biting really hard on things and sometimes acts like whatever she's biting hurt her. She's had a bit of a runny nose and lots of drool. And tonight before I put her down to bed she was rubbing her tongue over her top gums. I think she'll get those top teeth before her 1st birthday!!

*****

Now for the Oprah thing...



This woman is almost 60. She was on Oprah today sharing her secret to looking young. Do you know what it is?

SHE PUTS VAGINAL CREAM AND PREPARATION-H ON HER FACE.

I kid you not.

Click here to see more from the show.

Oprah was great today. I know I am only 27, but I feel "old" - this show was awesome. These women have been through bad divorces, bad relationships, tragedy, they've been obese, etc... and now they all look FABULOUS. It's like 50 is the new 30 LOL... I was amazed at how good some of these women look.

It really inspired me. Sometimes I feel like I'm just an old hag now... yeah, at 27... like I'm a mom now so if I want to look good, or spend money on clothes or makeup for me, it's wrong... but really, it's not. Looking good can really help you feel good... When I went out the other night and got all dressed up cute, I had so much fun. It's a confidence thing.

Anyway, that's all I got right now... I am pretty tired and need to go night nights!!

:)

D

whine whine whine.

I'm going to whine for a bit. My left wrist is REALLY sore - and I do not know why. I'm thinking it's a combination of lifting my ever-growing baby, trying to always do things with the left hand/arm while holding her in the right arm, and the way I sleep on top of my hand.

It almost feels like it must be sprained or something. It doesn't hurt now while I'm typing, but the second I go to pick her up, or especially when I lift the high chair tray, OUCH.

Anyway, that's my complaint. I'm done.

I've had the song Fallen by Sarah McLachlan in my head ALL DAY - I heard it in the car last night on the way home from Boston... and it STUCK.

I am trying to find some gossip but there really isn't anything more than what I've got!! OH, and I got my google ads to work so I'm excited about that too!!

Not much to write!

:)

D

lazy day.

I did just about nothing today. Kyla and I played, but other than that - nothing. I thoroughly enjoyed checking out all the Paris Hilton stuff. I thought it was fake at first, but it's real. There's actually a guy who has been in trouble before for hacking T-Mobile's databases... so the FBI thinks he was behind this. He's plead guilty already, now he's just awaiting sentencing.

Anyway, I'm going to start thinking about dinner..... I had mac & cheese for lunch but I could have it again for supper LMAO.

I am thinking about writing a book. Something to do.

:)

D

girls night out.

I ended up going out with my friends last night. My dad was home with Kyla... but she was asleep by the time I left anyway....

We had SUCH A BLAST! We went to Coogan's in Faneuil Hall. We ended up dancing for a little while which was fun, but I just felt like "I'm too old to be doing this..." LOL... plus, I just couldn't keep up with the girl hanging out by herself grinding with the railing. The sad thing is, I've probably done something like that before LOL...

We just talked - er, I mean, YELLED - about life, the "good ole days", relationships, and of course got each other caught up on all the gossip about people we went to high school with. One of my friends is organizing our 10 year reunion. We never had a 5 year because the people who were supposed to do it just didn't. So she decided she wants a reunion, she's planning it. Should be fun - it's Thanksgiving this year.

So, I got hit on LOL. And even though it's so TACKY to be hit on by men in bars - and they'd most likely hit on anyone, it was a nice feeling. They thought I was 22-23 which was also cool. One of the guys was celebrating his 26th birthday and they kept trying to get me to go to another bar with them!!! I was like - UH, NO. Then they wanted me to do shots with them, and I said UH NO. Finally one of the guys got the hint... but the other one was WASTED and did that "I'm going to hover around you even though you are back to talking with your friends and are trying to ignore me" thing. SO ANNOYING.

The thing about Boston bars now that I LOVE - no smoking. At all. You gotta go outside in the FREEEEEEEZING cold to smoke. It is SO NICE not to be dancing and have people's cigarettes burning in your face... I mean how many times do you have this GREAT outfit and get home and there's a little cigarette burn... UGH!!! The sucky thing though is we went outside a few times because there are some smokers in the bunch... and it was FREEEEZING. It definitely cuts the whole chain smoking in the bar down A LOT. It's also cool to not reek of smoke.

Somehow we ended up having this conversation with some girls in the bathroom about Michael Jackson... and then about how rude people from New Jersey are LOL. RANDOM.

On our way back to the parking garage we stopped and got sandwiches from a street vendor. We stood over the subway grates for warmth. It's SO WEIRD... it's ICE COLD outside, but if you stand on the sidewalk above the subway, its toasty warm. So we huddled there and chowed down. Then I REALLLLLLY wanted some Macaroni & Cheese and couldn't stop talking about it - so when we got back to my friend's house she gave me a packet of Easy Mac LOL. THAT WILL BE LUNCH TODAY!

So we had fun. Definitely not like it used to be... but it was great to see my friends and joke around. I think one of the things that used to be fun was the unpredictability of things... we never knew who we'd run into, where we'd end up hanging out, if we'd meet guys, etc... Honestly at this point I'd much rather go out to dinner where we can talk, but there's something crazy about going to a bar and having to yell to talk to each other that is still fun.

I had 3 drinks. Malibu and pineapples. My Florida favorite.

Anyway, I'm tired. I wasn't drunk at all, but I'm still sleepy from being out late. Kyla's down for her nap.... all the giggling we were doing this morning must have worn her out.

HOW CUTE is this. This morning we had one of those "OMG my baby is growing up" moments. We were laying on my bed, and in the covers she found one of her socks. One of the pink heart socks actually... so she was holding it, playing with it, and just to be funny - not thinking she'd react - I pulled the sock out of her hand. SHE CRACKED UP!!!!! So then I was kind of teasing her with it, and she went to grab it, and I gave it back... and then grabbed it again... and this went on for a while - and she was just LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY!!!! We were TOTALLY playing. It was so cute.

THEN - it happened AGAIN!!! I was feeding her Cheerios for breakfast... and there were only a few left... so I was like "I'm gonna get 'em!" and made funny noises and went for the Cheerio in slow motion... just as she went for it... and I snatched it away - and she LAUGHED... so then we played that game with the Cheerios. It's just TOOOOO CUTE!!!!

I'm going to lay down for a bit while she's napping!

D