Ew, it smells.

The car smells. Remember yesterday I had a coffee spill... yeah, it smells now. It's one of those smells that will remain in my car forever, but soon enough I won't notice it... other people who get in my car will smell the funk... but I won't. Kind of like how smelly people don't know they smell because they can't smell their own odor... but others notice. Same deal. Yuck.

Went out with friends last night. It was fun to catch up.

My eye is all messed up today. I get this funky eye thing sometimes. I see double. I thought it was my contact but I took it out and put it back in and I still have the blur thing going... makes my head all cloudy.

I can't think right today. Not sure why. Just in a funk. Maybe it's from the sour iced coffee dried into the car carper fumes... or something.

Do you ever feel the NEED to talk to someone about something important but you know they are really busy and you just can't bother them... I feel that right now. I can wait, but it sucks!

Holla!

Me

Catching up...

Last night I went out with a friend... She and I haven't seen each other since before I moved to Tampa 3 years ago. Actually, how weird... it was 3 years ago this summer that I left Boston and ventured away from home to follow a dream...

Anyway, my friend and I had a falling out over some stuff a few months before I left... we didn't talk for a few years... and then about 9 months ago she called to tell me some bad news about a friend of ours from college... and I took advantage of that reconnection to apologize for the way our friendship crumbled... and she apologized... and we made up.

We emailed a few times after that but then life happened again and we lost touch. She actually now lives in the town I grew up in - where I am staying now - so I called her last night just to see how she's doing.

She ended up not having dinner plans so she picked me up and we went out... and she told me - she just found out she's having a baby!!! She actually had said when I called that she was just thinking about me the other day...

So I'm really excited for her and I think this will bring us back to being really good friends again... It's so funny the crap we fought over and the insanity that ruined our friendship... We did "laugh about it" over dinner. Things that seemed so pressing then... now just lame stuff to crack up over... like we can't believe how dumb we were!

Older, wiser, more mature, and now with way more important things to live for...

So tonight I am going out with some radio friends... actually one of them I have not seen since I was an INTERN when I was 13!!! He was just starting his career as well... and now we've both been to a number of places, worked with all kinds of people, and happen to both be back in Boston working for the same company (different stations)... and another radio friend I met when I was working here before Tampa happened to go to high school with this guy... so the 3 of us are going out to catch up.

We are most likely going to end up doing karaoke at the Purple Shamrock... uh oh. Fire up the Eve 6... oh, and actually, that reminds me.. I mentioned a line from a song in my post yesterday and I am racking my brain trying to figure out if it is actually an Eve 6 song... We can live beside the ocean... I don't wanna be your fall back crush anymore... walk right out into a brand new day... We can live beside the ocean...

That is Eve 6 right?

No dumbass... it's Everclear. I got the Eve part right... I always get those 2 bands confused and I like them both.

I HATE when I can't remember stuff.

Peace.

Flat spilled news coffee tires gossip and bikers.

I have LOTS to say.

The dirt blog is back burner right now because honestly, I can't keep up with it like I was... and no matter what I do, unless there are 100 posts a day with pictures and wit, people will bitch... so F 'em, they get nothing. They can go elsewhere, say I've lost it, whatever... I got other stuff going on :)

So anyway...

I walked out to my car this morning and my tire was FLAT. It loses air... I have to fill it up like once every 10 days or so... but this morning it was REAL flat. I was nervous driving it but I knew I'd make it to the gas station ok. I filled it up and of course got dirt all over my hands and a little speck on my shirt. Oh well.

I am just proud of myself because I am know a skilled tire filler upper!

Then I opt to kill 2 birds with one stone since I was already running late for work... and I get an iced coffee at the gas station store... It was HUGE. Like a MONSTROUS iced coffee. I was so thirsty I started sipping it before I even paid for it... and surprisingly it did not taste like watery sweetened mud.

I get into my car and the cup of iced coffee is so frigging big it doesn't fit right in my cup holder... Usually the Dunkin Donuts big cups fit but this cup was wider and just wasn't digging being cramped in the cup holder... STUPIDLY I just left it there, teetering a little...

Then I pull out of the parking lot.... KER PLUNK!!

Coffee... EVERYWHERE. It fell onto the floor. SPLASH!

All over my frigging pant leg. I've worn a skirt to work the last 2 days... and today I wear pants and BAM, spilled coffee all over the bottom of my pant leg... all over my foot which is still sticky... and a PUDDLE of iced coffee on the floor of my car.

Love it.

So I'm so wicked smaht I put the HEAT ON in the car - all blowing through the bottom vents of course - to dry the pant leg... but I don't think about the fact that there's milk in the coffee mixture that is now seeping into the floor....

I just hope that it does not REEK after sitting in the sun all day.

My first inclination was to go back to my bro's house and change my pants... but I don't have the key... He actually gave it to me last night and I left it on the table this morning... Duh.

Plus, it's just on the cuff of the pants, like the bottom of one leg... so not incredibly noticable. On top of that, I really just don't give a crap about stupid stuff like that. Everyone spills. I'm a klutz. Oh well.

I ended up getting an iced mocha latte at the little coffee shop in this office building... and it's better than the gas station iced coffee anyway!

So that's that.

******

Now for the part about the bikers...

I'm taking this windy back road to work now... and every morning I am faced with the fear of being forced to choose between a head on collision with another car or running spandex wearing bikers off the road.

I remember one time a radio station I was doing work for issued this whole big statement about how we are NOT allowed to ever make fun of, sh*t on, or say ANYTHING remotely mean about bikers... but I no longer am gag ordered and I'm going to GO OFF.

I HATE BIKERS. I know they have a "right to the road" by law.... but honestly, it's just so annoying. As if the road isn't a dangerous enough place... you put yourself on a 10 pound stick of metal with 1 inch tires and ride with a foot of space between you and my 2 ton vehicle??

But you wear a helmet - right? So yeah, you're safe. That helmet is REALLY going to protect you in the case that my car - which might as well be a bulldozer against your 10-speed - hits you. Right.

And if I do hit you... like let's say there's a car coming the other way and NOWHERE for me to go and I hit you.... it's my fault. You fall off your bike in front of my car - I hit you and it's going to be my fault.

Go home and play Frogger if you like to take traffic risks.

******

Now for my rant on gossip and why people are so obsessed with celebrity gossip... It's simple. It is a distraction. There are basically 3 types of news in this world right now... well, in this country anyway.

Bad shit.
Celebrity shit.
Sports shit.

The "news" isn't even news anymore... it's basically a compilation of the worst, most horrible, most unthinkable, heinous, sickening, depressing and despicable things that happened that day. That's all.

How does "reporting" the news that a woman drowned her kids in a tub... or a woman cut another woman's baby out of her womb... or 2 kids beat another kid to death with a crowbar... how is that NEWS??? Why do we all need to know about this??? To be "informed"?

And we learn about all of this stuff just as we sit down at the dinner table with our families... if in fact we are still doing that. GREAT way to set the mood...

I HATE the news. I can't even watch it anymore. I try to keep up with the REAL news - like what is going on in the world... but the "let's report the most sickening worst of humanity stories all in a row" garbage is just too much.

Let's see... would I rather watch Entertainment Tonight and find out about who Brad Pitt is sleeping with... or watch the news and hear about people being bludgeoned to death?

Am I wrong?

End rant, I gotta do some stuff...

Make a Plan B.

Have you ever heard the phrase "something to fall back on"?

Like... having a Plan B.

I am one of those people who has gone through life with NO PLAN B.

I want Plan A.

I want what I want... and I pretty much put my eggs in that basket and work for Plan A... I never really stopped to think about having a Plan B because why have 2nd best when you want the best?

I'm starting to rethink this... I've done it in all aspects of life - with romance, with career... Taken leaps of faith on people and things I've wanted for myself... and just set forward on a path towards getting what I want - PLAN A - and never really worrying about the backup because settling just isn't in me... but yeah, I'm starting to rethink this.

Having a Plan B doesn't mean you can't strive for what you really want... it just means that if things don't go your way, you'll have something to fall back on... It means that if you screw up along the way and Plan A breaks down - you've still got Plan B to keep you going... keeping some eggs in another basket - even if they're not completely fresh.

I've been forced into scrambling (no egg pun intended) to make a Plan B...

Plan A will probably still work out - after all, who will ever really want to settle for Plan B... but in the meantime - Plan B is going to give me what I need... and soon enough I'll be back to living the Plan A life.

I want Plan A, but Plan B will do for a while - and it's better than nothing.

When you're up sh*t's creek - you're better off having a paddle than not having a paddle!

That all being said, I don't ever want to be the Plan B... and of course in some cases you can't have a Plan B because to have one would make Plan A not all it's cracked up to be - right?

I've been the Plan B before... like, the fallback crush in the Eve 6 song... you only get him when his Plan A doesn't work... Sucks. That feeling of knowing you weren't the first choice... I could never live with that again. Or even if it isn't like that - just the doubt that maybe he's thinking of someone else... ugh I hated that feeling.

I won't make anyone my Plan B either.

Me no Plan B. You no Plan B. We be Plan A together.

I've been the Plan B friend before too... I remember when I was in middle school I really wanted to be friends with this girl but she only wanted to play with me when there was nobody else... and I think she used me for the fruity Mentos I used to bring to gym class too... but that's besides the point.

I think all my friends now are mutual Plan A's so at least I have that figured out.

It's like that with other things too... career comes to mind but I'm not sure I can relate that at this time...

OK - so... have a Plan B... don't settle for the Plan B life... but have a Plan B - just in case you need it.

Don't even get me started on Plan C - I'm not quite ready to ask if you want fries with that!

:)

D

I like to fly.

Lately I have been kind of down... anyone who knows what is going on in my life knows it has not been easy... but in all of this I've come to the realization that I've gotten over a VERY BIG FEAR of mine... so I'm going to take a moment to pat myself on the back and let this conquered fear be a step in the right direction for me.

I am not quite sure where my fear of flying came from... I flew a few times when I was younger. My dad took me to Texas when I was in 3rd grade. It was the first time I flew. I remember how excited I was to be getting out of school early that day to take a trip with my dad... and I had NO fear of the plane. In fact, I really don't remember much about it.

I guess on the way back we flew through a horrible storm... and the plane was all over the place... and even the stewardesses (yes, at that time way back in 1985 they were still called STEWARDESSES) were sitting down...

I had to pee real bad. I insisted on going to the bathroom. They didn't want me to get up, but they also didn't want to tell me that it was a bad flight and I shouldn't go... so I went. I guess everything went OK... I don't remember. I just know that when that plane landed there was applause... and that's when they told me it was BAD!

Then in 5th grade I flew to Washington, DC on a school trip... and I had no fear then either. The only thing I remember was feeling kind of sick on the way back... but that's because I was coming down with chicken pox.

Fast forward to my sophomore year of college. I was picked to go to the sorority convention at Purdue University. I was so excited... until the plane took off.

I was with my sorority sister Tara... we were sitting next to each other... we were just chatting away until the plane lifted off the ground and JERKED... like that kind of pull that sometimes happens where you feel like it's going to just fall right back to the ground...

I literally YELPED, grabbed my seat so tight, and started hyperventilating. Poor Tara was embarassed... and the other people on the plane were like "it's ok"...

Then I make it through that flight and realize... next up, we're going on a little puddle jumper 8 seater. Tara was....

THIS POST GOT DELETED BY BLOGGER... I will finish it later.

I'm a little miffed - it was long and good!

I am back.

This public blog is back...

There are reasons why... but to share them would go against the very reasons why the public blog CAN is IS coming back... all I can tell you is that it will be different.

Here ends this post.