m.i.l.f. wants her mtv

LOL... well that sums up my day. I watched lots of MTV. Ashlee Simpson, PoweR Girls, Diddy Idol, Slimdown Secrets of the Stars...

Well, wait. Let's go back to last night LOL... My stepsisters and my stepmom's sister came over... we had Papa Gino's and wine... sat around the table for a while just telling stories and laughing. At one point I busted out laughing and spit my white zinfandel all over the table... I am ALWAYS the one to do that!!!!! Luckily there wasn't much food left... just some girl scout cookies that had the plastic wrapping over them so my spray o'vino didn't get them.

I didn't sleep well at all though... We moved Kyla's crib into the room I am sleeping in since it's been in my stepsister's room... so Ky was not down with the idea of sleeping while I was in the room. I tried to be SO QUIET when I went to bed and lay completely still... but she knew I was there. I got about 4 hours of sleep total.

I had a headache ALL DAY... plus I didn't bother to put my contacts in so I am sure that didn't help matters... it snowed ALL DAY... I did NOTHING but watch MTV and play with Kyla... and eat. Today I ate way more than I have been lately... bad.

Of course at the end of my eating binge day "Slimdown Secrets of the Stars" came on MTV... so I change the channel after a while because I'm sitting there feeling huge... and then I get to VH-1's 100 Most Wanted... so I'm thinking it's 100 Most Wanted VIDEOS and I'm like "cool I'll catch up on videos" but no... it's the 100 Most Wanted CELEBRITY BODIES. I watched 2 minutes on Rebecca Romijn and I was DONE with that. No, I am not severely overweight, but I definitely need to eat better and exercise or it WILL catch up with me. Plus I'd like to look good in a bikini this summer.

Can anyone recommend a good beginner's workout video?

Besides this one of course...



LOL... I'd actually invest in this one but I have no man to show of my new moves for and it would depress me...

In the dirt blog I talk about PoweR Girls... ridiculously tacky show - I'm hooked. I need something to look forward to each week on TV so PoweR Girls wins. I think it's just (mildly) fascinating to see how things actually make it to the gossip pages and what goes on behind the scenes.

Then I watched Diddy Idol. Well, it's not called Diddy Idol but Making the Band is obviously P.Diddy's little Americal Idol where he's the Simon and the Randy and the Paula all wrapped into one.... and believe it or not the people on this show are even worse than American Idol... The only good thing about the show is watching Diddy TRASH the girls his people picked. He was watching video of some of the finalists and was like "What... that girl look like a MAN... she's a shortie... none of these girls have a look..." He's ruthless - I feel bad for these chicks!!!

OK on Ashlee Simpson show... is it me, or does it seem like Ryan Cabrera isn't that into Ashlee and she is super clingy? Like, she's always the one being all cutesy with him... the only time he is really into her is when there's other people around or for publicity like the "I LOVE ASHLEE" thing...

And I think it's such a riot how they focus an entire episode on her being worried about the Orange Bowl... they never do that... they will show her get to the venue, sing a little, perform, end of segment - like 3 minutes on it... but with this, it's ridiculous...

Oh, and her going off about changing the lyrics... COME ON. I watched the show for 30 minutes, heard her repeat them about 5 times, and I COULD REMEMBER THEM!!! She's totally making sad excuses for herself. I feel bad for her that her performance SUCKED, but why doesn't she just admit that she had a really shitty performance instead of just dancing around the issue??

OK ENOUGH about television!!!

Kyla is learning how to say Tigger. I SWEAR she is. Every time we are playing with Tigger I go "Tig-ger" and she says "tih-git" or something like that... it's NOT "tigger" but she's trying!!! She does high five and waves on cue!!! It's just so frigging cute!!!

I am going to read... I finished "Milkrun" and now I'm going to read "See Jane Date"... but I am afraid of something I do when I read one book after another - I keep thinking the characters from one book are in the other book!!! I confuse myself.

Goodnight :)

D

some things...

are better left unsaid.

That's the saying isn't it. OK good. I was writing about my "how do I tell someone something" dilemma yesterday... talked to a friend about it today - and she advised me, "don't say anything." So, I'm going to heed that advice. I don't know how the person would react to the news, and so I just think it's better to keep it to myself and see how things play out. Telling the "secret" could backfire on me - and it wouldn't be fair - so I'm just going to keep it quiet and hope that when the time comes the truth will come out and all will be OK.

Kyla is wearing me out today! She did take a long nap earlier... but she's just all over the place, into everything, doesn't want to chill and play, but wants to climb, touch, grab, etc...

Her top tooth is coming in good. It's just breaking through, but I can totally see it and feel it. She keeps dragging her tongue along her top gums too... like feeling it.

She is learning to blow kisses. She's got clapping, high five, bye bye, so now I'm trying to show her to blow kisses. So super cute!!

Not much else going on... other than I had a strange dream about someone last night and I'm not sure what to think of it LOL. It's like a wishful thinking kind of deal... but it was so real. UGH I hate when that happens! Do you tell people when you have funky dreams about them? And it wasn't dirty so don't go thinking that LMAO.

Anyway, I gotta get to Kyla... she's about to destroy a box of Kleenex!

:)

D

mad m.i.l.f.!

Well, not really. I mean, I'm working on the anger thing right...

For some reason the dirt blog is running really crappy right now. Half the stuff I try to post doesn't work... and then when it does it posts the freaking thing 3 times. This blog works fine most of the time... it's just the DIRT ONE!!

I'm thinking maybe it's because I post so much, so every time I do it it has to archive and move stuff around... I don't really know what to do. The blogger is supposed to be equipped to handle this kind of thing. Oh well. I'll keep working with it. I was thinking it might be my computer or internet connection, but everything else works fine... and some people have emailed me to say the page is slow to load, etc. That's why I started using some thumbnails instead of pictures... hopefully that will help. I'm just annoyed!!!

All went well with my family situation I am happy to say. I mentioned it yesterday but don't like to get into detail to protect privacy... but everything went fine!!

As for the flowers... wouldn't you like to know who sent them LOL... I am sure you can guess. They are very pretty... I will take a picture tomorrow. I meant to, but I forgot. Now I'm getting lots of emails asking what is going on... Sorry, it's private :)

I'm having a bit of a dilemma right now. There is something I need to tell someone and I am not quite sure how to approach it. I don't want to hide things... but I also don't want to upset this person... and I don't know how the news will be taken... so I have no clue what to do! I tend to just keep silent with things like this and silence ALWAYS bites me in the ass... so I have to speak up... it's just - how to say it... and when is the right time... I worry so much about saying the WRONG thing that I just put off ever saying anything!!! I have to see how some other things play out before I open my mouth though. No sense bringing it up if there's nothing to even worry about.

I found out TWO other pieces of interesting news today... both a little shocking. One could be good - or it could be nothing... and the other seems kinda bad, but could end up being OK.

Are you annoyed with reading this? I would be. Sorry, I just can't go off anymore and spill things - too many people read it!!! Right now there are a LOT of things I need to keep hush-hush... personal stuff, career stuff, etc... basically the only things I can really talk about are how I like my eggs, what I'm reading, and how my little princess is doing!!

Kyla is awesome. Every day I see changes now. It's crazy. A few times today she was holding onto the couch or the end table and just LET GO, stood for a few seconds, and then plopped on her bum!! It's amazing to watch her try to balance. She played in the tub with her rubber duckie. I had forgotten I even packed the rubber duckie and I FOUND IT today!!! So she had a good time with rubber duckie. Why does rubber duckie ALWAYS remind me of Sesame Street and Bert & Ernie??? That stupid song!!!

I watched "Birth Day" on the Discovery Channel today. Made me want to have another baby LMAO. I mean, there is nothing like the feeling of having a newborn little tiny baby... I will definitely pop out a few more kids someday... but of course there are a LOT of things that must be put in place before that happens again!!! Not 'til Kyla's out of diapers anyway... I can't imagine changing twice as many poopiedoo diapers a day... YUCK!

I LOVE the pictures I took of her earlier today. That was outfit number one of FOUR today LOL... she spit up all over one, then another was just too small (she's growing out of stuff SO FAST!!), and then I put her in something nice and warm after her bath. She so needs new clothes for her birthday!! I just hate buying winter clothes when it's going to be spring soon, but she needs a few things... and who knows how long I'll be stuck in this cold!!

I'm going to bed.

:)

D

Chillin' in the rocker...

Scooting along the couch...

Mommy goes nuts with the camera again...

How perfect is this picture!!! I don't know if I like color or black & white better!

m.i.l.f. gets flowers!

Yes, someone sent me flowers today... I was feeding Kyla her dinner, making mine... doorbell rings. Flowers. I'm like, omg... thinking they must be for my stepmom or the guy is at the wrong house... nope. They were for me. Very pretty!!

Not a very eventful day otherwise. Kyla and I played and ate. That's about it. Oh yeah, and slept.

I have the biggest frigging zit on my face. It was just like a red bumb, but now it's a big fat whitehead pimple. I'm so mad. I VERY RARELY get pimples anymore but when I do - its GROSS.

I wish I had more to write. I am kinda blah. I'm tired. I am going to lay down and read... I didn't get to read last night because Kyla wouldn't sleep so I let her sleep with me. It was freezing and really windy, I think she was cold and scared because the wind was shaking the house!! So we snuggled :)

:)

D

super fun m.i.l.f. day!

Mommy & Kyla tonight...

Today was a great day. Well, the WEATHER SUCKED... but I had a nice day. Got up early, drove my dad to work so I could use his car. Kyla and I went to the Post Office and mailed a few more things I had sold on eBay before I left Columbia... these people have been SO patient with me!!! I was nice and communicated with them so I guess with most people that is the key. Lucky for me the baby clothes they bought from me are still too big for their kids - otherwise I'd be concerned they'd outgrow them before I even shipped! But everything is done now. So that task - accomplished.

Then I picked my dad up at his office and we went over to pay off my old parking tickets. My dad took care of them... I need to get a car, but I need to be cleared with the fine folks at the Mass RMV before I can register a car, so we had to do it. They were from like 2001... I am so bad about just letting things go... And I just should never have parked in those spaces in the first place!! I've been lazy and stupid for too long...

So we got that done. Then my dad took us to lunch at Papa Gino's. SUPER YUM. I've been craving Papa Gino's all week so when he suggested it today I was like YES!!!! They don't have Papa Gino's anywhere else. Maybe that's why I'm so into it now... they are EVERYWHERE around here... but nowhere else. You guys are missing out. :)

After that, Kyla and I went to the radio station to visit and meet some new people I haven't met yet. I had so much fun catching up with people!! I'm going to be working just about every weekend and my friends there are totally trying to help me find a job too... Some of my friends who work in sales sat and played with Kyla in the hallway (lol yeah we were just kinda hanging out in the middle of the hallway - but nobody minded!) while I did some paperwork.

Not only was it great to see everyone and be welcomed back, but it also makes me realize... with other situations... maybe it WASN'T me.

Anyway, I did a very bad thing on the way back to pick up my dad. I stopped somewhere. And gave in to a craving...



But I got a HAPPY MEAL, so really... it wasn't so bad. I didn't Super Size. Just needed to satisfy the craving... it worked. I sat in the parking lot and chowed down on those 4 nuggets... and savored every morsel. Then the yummy fries... It's been MONTHS since I indulged in McDonald's, and since my jeans are just way too big now I figured I deserved some junk.

It snowed today... and it's still snowing. It's CRAZY winter weather out right now. My friend Amanda in FL just IM'd me and was like "It's FREEZING HERE, it's been DRIZZLING ALL DAY!!" Yeah, it's like 46 degrees there.

Here it's about 13, and the wind is blowing so hard I can hear it howling. I won't say it's like a hurricane because our house is standing and its not enough to down any trees... but it's damn windy.

My brother just IM'd me and told me that at his apartment complex, he passed 1 dominos, 3 fortunes, and a papa ginos delivery guy all stuck behind each other in corollas and escorts... on the hill going up to the complex. Stuck in the snow. Craziness!!

My friend Charlie in NY called me an hour ago and said he was going 1 mph. Yes, ONE mile per hour on the NJ Turnpike and the highway is a SHEET of ice. Cars off the road everywhere. I told him to hang up and drive but he wasn't going anywhere in the traffic. Once it started moving he got off the phone.

So yeah, you eskimoes down in Tampa need to shut up. Come up here, we'll give you cold!!

The next few days are going to be a little scary and difficult for some people here so please keep my family in your thoughts. I won't get into detail because I don't want to share personal information about anyone else, but I did want to mention it.

Thanks for your emails!!! I have been a SLACKER at writing back to people lately an then I wonder why I don't get many anymore - DUH!

I'm going to hit the dirt page and then hit my book!

:)

D

m.i.l.f.'s book club

Um, no. I am not going to become like Oprah LOL... but I just thought that subject was fitting since I'm going to tell you about the book I am reading because at lot of people have asked...

It's called "Milkrun"... it's part of the Red Dress Ink series.

I've never read any of these... but I really like this book. My best friend says all the books in this series are great.

Here's the website Red Dress Ink so check it out if you need something good to read. They're like chick books. Not really "romance" novels... more like stories of everyday women.

And speaking of Oprah, wasn't really good today. None of the talk shows were good today.

I watched Newlyweds though... the one where Ashlee performs at the Orange Bowl and Jessica is watching... OMG talk about a fine editing job!!! They TOTALLY showed Kelly Clarkson not able to hear herself... then had Jessica saying over and over how hard it would be to sing without hearing herself... then had everyone saying how great Ashlee was... and they didn't show the boo-ing AT ALL. It's as if it never happened!!

So I am kinda pissed off at a friend... and no, to my friends who read this - it IS NOT YOU... this person doesn't read my journal. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, I think I'm just pissed because I was excited about something and then it didn't happen... but oh well. I haven't said anything because I don't want to be a bitch - trying to work on the anger thing LOL. Plus, I don't think this person even realizes it's a big deal... and it's really not, it just got me the wrong way.

I have to get up early. I'm using my dad's car tomorrow to go do some errands and visit the radio station... I have worked there 3 times since I've been back, but I haven't gone in during the day to visit yet!! They all want to see Kyla, and there are some new people working there who I want to meet... and two of my friends there have had babies since I left so I want to see pictures!! Plus, they get to meet Kyla.

She is saying MAMA like crazy now. Babbling a lot. When we wave at her, she waves back. Say Mama, she says mama. She imitates us, its so adorable!!

So I don't know what to get her for her birthday. Of course I went to Old Navy's website and they have TONS of cute things for spring/summer... and toys, and I want to get her Bambi on DVD for Easter. I NEED A JOB!!!

How funny is this... Easter is the Sunday before her birthday... so she'll have her 2nd Easter before her 1st birthday! Last year it fell late... this year it's really early...

That's about it. I want to go read my book. I updated the dirt... there's a lot of good stuff. I also put some more fun links up in the links section too.

:)

D

talk about a m.i.l.f.!

Have you seen The Gastineau Girls on E!???? I just saw this for the first time tonight... omg the mother is hotter than the daughter!

It's a pretty amusing show. They are just so superficial it's insane... and they are running out of money LOL. Neither one of them have jobs. I sometimes wonder HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SPEND LIKE THIS???

Anyway, I spent a good part of the afternoon watching the E! channel and playing with Kyla. She was cracking up at her Tiggers today... she's got 2 of them right now, and when I make them play together she cracks up.

My stepmother made London Broil for dinner - omg SOOOOOOOOO good I had like 4 plates!!!

I didn't end up going out tonight... it was going to be late by the time my friend got done working and I didn't feel like going. We're going to hang out some other time when it won't be so late.

Nothing else is up!!! I am going to go read. Yes, me - read. I really like this book my friend gave me.

Oh, the one thing that was really bizarre about the Gastineau Girls - mother and daughter- posing NUDE all like sexual with each other. SICK. I mean, it's like an unfathomable thought to me... Just plain TWISTED!!!

I'm just looking forward to Kyla's birthday party now!!

:)

D

avoiding disappointment...

Hmmm... Do you ever think you should just not do something because you know what the outcome will be and it will be disappointing?

I mean... in life there are certain things you ALWAYS have to go for, even if you know there's a risk of failure... but what if you just know your efforts will be fruitless... do you avoid situations because you KNOW you'll be disappointed?

I faced this today. And the outcome was just as I expected. I hoped it would be different - but I asked, and got the response I expected. Oh well.

So anyway, on to happy things!!! We just went out for a nice breakfast. Kyla couldn't chow down on her eggs fast enough!!! Of course she ended up getting half of them all over the floor on the restaurant, but it was so cute to see her eating off the plate with both hands LOL.

We decided to have a birthday party for Kyla the Sunday after her birthday. The weekend before is Easter... so we'll do it the weekend after. I am going to bake a funfetti cake with pink frosting!!! It will be so much fun... just family and a few of my friends - Kyla's other aunties LOL... Not sure if everyone will be able to come, but it will be fun!! Can't wait to give her a piece of cake and let her at it!!!

I am such an insomniac. I could NOT get to sleep last night. I started reading this book my friend Kristen gave me a few weeks ago... She's a big reader - I am not... but I think it's something good for me to do right now. I read the first 100 pages last night... and this book is about a single girl living in Boston. Her boyfriend took off for a few months to travel and then emailed her to tell her he'd fallen in love with someone else... so she's trying to get out and have fun. The book was written in 2001 and has a LOT of pop culture things in it... I mean, it even mentions CABBAGE PATCH KIDS at one point when she's talking about what she and her best friend used to play with as kids... and her shot of choice is Lemon Drop - one of my favorites!!! And she mentions SWINGERS which is one of my all time favorite movies... So bizarre this author mentions all these things I really relate to. So far its a good book.

Anyway, Kyla is fussing so I'm going to get her.

:)

D